About GruntOfMonteCristo

The Grunt of Monte Cristo is just an average guy who loves God and values Truth and Common Sense.

Spring Break on the Range; It’s Not for Everyone, Especially Not Mildly Retarded College Boys

When oldest Gruntson informed us that he’d be spending spring break with a girl at her family ranch near Meeker, Colorado, my first thought wasn’t whether he was going to get somebody pregnant or even whether he’d end up in the hospital with acute alcohol poisoning.  No, my first thought was that the bodybag might get delivered by helicopter when he got himself trampled, impaled or shot, and do you know how much it cost to deliver anything by helicopter???  It’s insane! Then, it occurred to me that this might merely involve a lot of non-fatal suffering for him and plenty … Continue reading

Finally, Social Justice for America’s First Oppressed Race: The Irish

The Duffel Blog[BOSTON]  The Ancient Order of Hibernians, an Irish-American cultural group and drinking society, is using St. Patrick’s Day to draw attention to its dispute with the United States Army over the Army’s “cultural appropriation” of the color green. “Green is our fookin color,” according to Mickey McSorley of no fixed address, South Boston. “Nobody else’s! And by the way, everybody isn’t fookin Irish today, laddie. Just the Irish.” “The real Irish. Not the ‘Scots-Irish’ frauds the goddam Limeys imported,” he added in a brogue that onlookers described as “wicked fake.” A spokesman for the Army denies the charges. “Why are … Continue reading

No One Seems to Know Why a Top Putin Advisor Was Brutally Murdered in His DC Hotel a Few Months Ago

In our nation’s capital where, increasingly, no one seems to be in charge, a brutal murder of a Russian official was covered up and reported as a “heart attack,” just four months ago.  We now know, as reported by the Wall Street Journal yesterday, that the death of Mikhail Lesin in the Dupont Circle Hotel was due to a violent attack involving “blunt force trauma” to his head and body in a way that must have resulted in a very messy and bloody scene in his hotel room.  Nonetheless, both US and Russian sources initially reported the death as “natural.” … Continue reading

Feminists Make Horrible Comediennes, But They Can Still Be Funny

Look, say what you want about performers like Amy Shumer, Kathy Griffin, Amy Pohler, Lena Dunham, Tina Fey.  Maybe you like their humor.  Personally, I think they stink on ice.  Perpetually.  If I could write a check for $10,000 and never have to watch Amy Shumer mouth another pandering vowel about gun control on some TV spot, I would probably jump at the chance. But that’s not the world we live in.  We are force fed these ‘funny girls’ because somebody thinks it’s good for us, and that’s not likely to change.  We should be the ones complaining.  But no; they … Continue reading