About GruntOfMonteCristo

The Grunt of Monte Cristo is just an average guy who loves God and values Truth and Common Sense.

Assange: “Trump Won’t Be Permitted to Win”

RT reports that it is “extraordinary” that Hillary Clinton is actually viewed as a “normal” or “acceptable” candidate for President of the United States in light of new proof that she is funded by precisely the same Gulf states (Saudi Arabia and Qatar) that have been funding ISIS. Assange points out that the unified front of powerful adversaries arrayed against Trump precludes any chance that he would be allowed to take office, no matter what happens on Tuesday.

Seriously??? We’re All Anita Hill True Believers Now?

This is why we lose.  We do it to ourselves.  Will we ever learn? As Ann Coulter pointed out yesterday, we need to expect a thousand Anita Hills to come forward in the next few weeks.  The casting calls have been going on for over a year.  Why do you think that is? Is it any surprise that Michelle Obama is “shaken to her core” about new allegations against Trump? If you insist on only believing women, like Stacy McCain is suddenly doing, ironically, then please consider listening to Ann Coulter.  She’s not fooled by the words being distorted and … Continue reading

Another Great Blog Self-Immolates and Becomes Just a Willing Servant of Hillary, Inc., Over KittyGate

Earlier this weekend, Robert Stacy McCain, of the once great conservative blog The Other McCain woke up and decided it would be a good idea to shitcan his blog forever and make it just another anti-Trump blog working in the humble service of the Hillary Clinton campaign.  He’d kinda started out that way earlier this year, but he redeemed himself by endorsing Trump at some point during the summer. Apparently, that never took root at all with his co-writers and not very well with Stacy, because he regressed a few days ago by declaring that the “pussygate” scandal would be … Continue reading

The “Grunt for Red October” Election Report from Coastal Virginia

Gruntington Post [Hampton, VA] – With about a month to go in the most important Presidential election of our lifetimes, the polls and electoral college tallies look very close, indeed.  The race between the presumptive First Hag, Hillary Clinton, and her intrepid challenger, Donaldus Maximus Trumpus is still far too close to predict the outcome. Of course, you wouldn’t know it where I live, in Non-Denver, Colorado, where folks are mostly conservative, anyway, and Hillary bumper stickers mostly say “Put Hillary in the Top Spot, On Death Row, 2016.”  But this week I’m working in coastal Virginia, which is also a … Continue reading

Madonna One-Ups Katy Perry for Hillary by Going Nude DURING Live Human Sacrifice [SATIRE]

Gruntington Post [Los Angeles] – Last week, singer Katy Perry failed to think of a novel or interesting way to throw her support behind Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, so she decided to just go nude somewhere.  Sensing a turf violation, the performer Madonna (the one former husband Guy Ritchie termed “F*&@ing Crazy”), insisted on also going nude for Hillary. She didn’t stop there.  During her performance at Barbra Streisand’s Brentwood estate theater, in front of approximately 50 Hollywood Democrats wearing washable smocks to protect against blood splatter, she performed ritual human sacrifice on all of her dancers. Symbolically, in female solidarity … Continue reading

Advanced Blamestorming

You have to give her credit.  She’s creative and resourceful. She even blamed her own coughing fits on Trump.  Apparently, just thinking about him gives her hairballs.  But she’s not the only one.  Credit: NewsBusters.org. Pretty soon, it will even be showing up in children’s books.  At least this one is partly true.

Some Fun with Crowd Comparisons

Here we are at Hillary’s “Come Back Tour” in Greensboro, NC, yesterday.  She brought in a couple hundred, including a few hecklers who urged her to do something anatomically impossible to herself. Here’s a Trump rally in about the same place in North Carolina a few days ago.  Thanks to C.W. Swanson for the images and the idea, BTW. Makes you feel sorry for Hillary’s campaign staff, doesn’t it? I just hope she doesn’t try to show us any more of her soul.  I don’t think we could take it.

Hillary’s Metal Object Mystery Solved

Gruntington Post (New York) – Speculation grew feverishly on Sunday about a mysterious metallic object that was clearly seen – and heard – on video falling from the cuff of Hillary Clinton’s pants leg as she was dragged into a waiting vehicle by aides after “not feeling well” during the 2016 World Trade Center Memorial event. The mystery appears to be solved by a still photo taken by a bystander shortly after Clinton’s entourage roared off to daughter Hillary’s apartment but before NYPD officers were called to retrieve a “lost shoe” that was misplaced in the street during the incident. … Continue reading

Obama Blows Another Hostage Rescue While Playing Golf

Language warning on this graphic. BREITBART and AMI Newswire – A group of Navy SEALS were forced to return from a hostage rescue mission in Afghanistan after President Barack Obama failed to approve their operation while he was on vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. According to sources speaking to Ami Newswire, the special operations force traveled swiftly to recover two hostages, but were ordered to stand down because Obama did not have time to approve the mission.  Apparently, POTUS “wanted 24 hours to consider the rescue.” Obama approved the mission a day later, but when the special forces team returned, the hostages … Continue reading

Scientists Agree: Barack Obama Has the Temperament to Be a Parasitic Flatworm

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s no Nobel Peace Prize, but Barack Obama has a new honor to brag about. Scientists have named a parasite after him – and there’s no worming out of it. Meet Baracktrema obamai, a tiny parasitic flatworm that lives in turtles’ blood. A new study officially names the two-inch-long, hair-thin creature after Obama.  Read more at Breitbart.

Read the Hate Closely, And You’ll See Begrudging Respect for Phyllis Schlafly, Even Among Feminists

The awesome woman who dared to resist feminism back when it was really uncool to do so died Monday.  Predictably, even young leftists who had never heard of Phyllis Schlafly happily joined the chorus in celebrating and mocking her death.  I won’t quote any of those idiots, but Breitbart compiled a good number of Tweets and comments just from the journalistic and professional world if you’d like to see them here. Hatred is the working medium of feminists of all kinds, and I’ve seen plenty of it while reviewing comments about Schlafly’s death.  There simply are no exceptions.  But if you … Continue reading

WikiLeaks Email ID1606 Revelation: “The Rothschild Family Owns the F#ck Out of Hillary Clinton”

From newly pissed off HuffPo writer David Seaman, who may really not have that long to live…  It’s starting to look like George Soros really is just a middleman, after all. Posted just minutes ago, late Friday night.

This Level of Denial (about Gary Johnson)

What could account for the following 180 degree change of course?  Honest question. In 2012, just before the disastrous re-election of the worst President in the history of the United States, there was fretting by the author (Karen) of the excellent conservative website, the Lonely Conservative, about libertarians voting for Gary Johnson and denying Mitt Romney victory: “Just saw on twitter that Gary Johnson could be the spoiler in Florida. Screw you libertarians for voting to allow the ruin of our republic.” Strange how things change.  Here she is now: “On both sides you hear that if you vote third party you are giving … Continue reading