Funny Friday

From Earl:


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From NavyVet:

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, “Nothing.” The reason I said “nothing” instead of saying “just thinking” is because she then would have asked, “About what?” At that point, I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally, I pondered an age old question: “Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?”

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.”

On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

I rest my case. Time for another beer and then, maybe a nap.




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From Gil:

Signs that Civilization is regressing:




















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From Jules:














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From Wendy:

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, “Sorry sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”

The old man didn’t budge.

The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”

Once again, the old man just muttered and did nothing.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the old disheveled man, but with no success.

Finally, they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy what’s your name?”

“Fred,” the old man moaned.

“Where you from, Fred?” asked the police officer.

With a terrible strain in his voice, and without moving, Fred replied;

“The balcony”…….

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From SafeSpace:











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From Terry:











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From ‘Nox:


The end result of a pantywaist metrosexual insulting bikers for wearing leather.







California?















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Have a great Friday and a Merry Christmas!

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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8 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. Jules Smith says:

    A spectacular pre- Christmas, Funny Friday edition!

    I’m still marvelling at the fact that there are people out there who might have a penchant for swallowing coat hangers.

    Safespace – I do believe we frequent the same bars.

    Wishing you all a fabulous Christmas ~ Eat drink and be merry ~ rinse and repeat.
    J x

  2. Terry says:

    Thanks to all for the Christmas Ho Ho Hoes !!
    Speaking of blondes….

    A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree.

    “I’ve kidnapped you!”, said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

    The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show his parents.The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

    ——————————————————————————————————

    I wish all y’all THE VERY MERRIEST CHRISTMAS EVAH !!

  3. SafeSpace says:

    Oh, the Saudi prince and his 13-year old brides … priceless! Many thanks to all for Christmas eve laughs, and our hope that y’all have a truly blessed holiday!

  4. clyde says:

    Good stuff. Merry Christmas to all the gang.

  5. Wise Owl says:

    I am so bummed. That coat hanger looked SO delicious! I guess I’ll just have to swallow the low-calorie wheelbarrow, instead.

    Merry Christmas y’all! Thank you for the humor, seriousness, information, and insight you share with us.

  6. Whitetop says:

    HN is to be commended for the public service announcements regarding safety for liberals. While it is nice to warn them not to breath under water and many of the other notices I wonder if we are doing the world a favor. Oh hell, it’s Christmas. Go ahead.

  7. SafeSpace says:

    Just heard this news flash from the world of high culture (seriously): Four female musicians have accused orchestra conductor Charles Dutoit — properly pronounced DO TWAT — of using his baton inappropriately, Dutoit, an 81 year old Swiss national, has been relieved of his duties — also described as fired — by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. I suppose with a name like that, it had to happen.

  8. Shar says:

    All great as usual. I heard the funniest thing on the radio this afternoon. Commentator was talking about a guy he knew from college that had a girlfriend that took an Alka Seltzer then drank a glass of water. How stupid is that? You have to wonder what else she was stupid about. Sounded like Funny Friday material.

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