THE FIRST MESSAGE
Hi George, This is Alan next door.
I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won’t happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I’ll pay you.
George, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone where he saw he’d received a subsequent text message from his neighbor:
THE SECOND MESSAGE
Hi George, This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, & that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed ‘wi-fi’ To ‘wife’. New technology, hey?
Merry Christmas friends. With the holidays upon us, I would like to share a personal experience about drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a “social session” with family or friends.
Well, two days ago, this happened to me: I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several scotches followed by a couple of bottles of rather nice red wine and vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was way over the limit. That’s when I did something I’ve never done before —- I took a taxi home!!
Sure enough, on the way there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before.
I don’t know where I got it, and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it. So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.
Merry Christmas to all……….
Have a great Friday.