by a new Celebrity Perv Apology Generator!
Now instead of going into rehab for a few hours to cure their pedophilic perversions, grabby hands, and rapey vibes, they can continue acting like Democrats and simply hit a button to generate a new apology!
EXCERPT: “As a male feminist, I am deeply ashamed (but not “sorry” because that means I’m guilty of something). I comforted myself by saying that at least I asked before I “honked” her boobs and demanded she watch me shower, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I have chosen to live my life as a gay man so if you say anything bad about me now you’re homophobic.”
Bingo! Now rapists like Weinstein and gay rapists like Spacey can simply do their “thing,” and rest assured of a fast apology! Hell, even Bill Clinton, Conyers, Al Green, and a host of other scumbag politicians could use it!
Bubba Clinton’s default apology…
“While I do not recall raping those women over a period of a few decades, in my apartment, in my El Camino, the White House, or on vacation to Orgy Island, I am deeply saddened since I realize I could have been more sensitive to these gals. It was so very long ago and so many rapes, er, molestations, er hugs ago it’s difficult to remember who is whom. In fact, many times I was the victim of these predatory women wearing those tiny miniskirts. They asked for it as I recall. I was raised in a house of women don’t ya know?”