I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year. So we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me, It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else.
One day she called me and asked me to come over. ‘To check my Sister’s wedding- invitations’ she said.
She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me. She couldn’t overcome them anymore.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married. She said “Before you commit your life to my sister”.
Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn’t say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom” she said, “if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me”.
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment. Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my fiancé’s entire family was standing outside, all clapping and cheering!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me. He said, ‘Frankie, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son.’
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Two Mexican Detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed?” asked one detective.
“With a golf gun.” The other detective replied.
“A golf gun! What is a golf gun?”
“I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.”
Eight Words With Two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female….. Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male….. Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male.. Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female….. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female….. The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male….. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes
From Jules (in the UK):
from Blessed B (in Canada)
(Thanks to everyone for their contributions)
Have a great Friday and a better weekend.