Funny Friday

From SafeSpace:

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man.

The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he’s without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright red, yellow and green feathers.

The old man glares at the young punk for him for the next ten miles, as the bus travels across the city.

Finally, the punk looks across at the old man, and yells, “What are you looking at, old man! Didn’t you do anything wild when you were young?”

Without missing a beat, the old man replies, “Yeah. Back when I was very young and in the Navy, I got really drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot… I thought you might be my son.”

From Navyvet:

A MAN IS AT WORK ONE DAY WHEN HE NOTICES HIS CO-WORKER IS WEARING AN EARRING.

THE MAN KNOWS HIS CO-WORKER TO BE A NORMALLY A CONSERVATIVE FELLOW AND IS CURIOUS ABOUT HIS SUDDEN CHANGE IN “FASHION SENSE.”

THE MAN WALKS UP TO HIM AND SAYS, “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE INTO EARRINGS.”

“DON’T MAKE SUCH A BIG DEAL, IT’S ONLY AN EARRING,” HE REPLIES SHEEPISHLY.

HIS FRIEND FALLS SILENT FOR A FEW MINUTES, BUT THEN HIS CURIOSITY PRODS HIM TO ASK, “SO, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WEARING ONE?”

“EVER SINCE MY WIFE FOUND IT IN MY TRUCK.”


From Just Gene:

EMERGENCY CURRENCY NOTIFICATION

ATTENTION


Please DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT use $1, $2, $50 or  $100 bills. 

They have pictures of former slave owners on them!  Send them all to me and I will dispose of them properly!

DO NOT just throw them away. They need to be disposed of properly and I am certified to do so.

Thank you for your cooperation.


From David:


From Earl:

Antifa Navy in Texas


From Hershey:

 


From Terry:


From ‘Nox:

….meanwhile in Louisiana

Irony

oo

Thanks to everyone that contributed.

Have a great Friday and a better weekend.

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
Tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. Terry says:

    Funny stuff for a funky weekend. Anyone in Irma’s path, Be Safe and Good Luck !
    ———————————————-
    Three men – an American, a Japanese and an Irishman – were sitting naked in a sauna.

    Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
    “That was my pager,” he said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”

    A few minutes later a phone rang.

    The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished, he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.”

    The Irishman felt decidedly low tech and, not wanting to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind.

    The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

    “It appears that you’ve got a bit a of a stuck paper problem there,” pointed the amused American.

    “Well, will you look at that. I must be getting a fax!” Declared the Irishman.

    ————————————–
    You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.

    “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.”

    According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”