Recent studies found average golfers walk 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
This means, on average, golfers get 41 miles to the gallon!
Kind of makes you proud. Almost makes you feel like a hybrid. . .
From Navy Vet:
Business was terrible and not picking up. I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers.
Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water-cooler the next morning.
When Debra came in with a horrible hangover after partying all night, she went directly to the cooler to take an aspirin.
I approached her and said, “Debra, I’ve never done this before, but I have to either lay you or Jack off.”
“Could you jack-off for now?” she replied. “I feel like shit. If you can wait, I’ll do you at lunchtime.”
I had to let Jack go.
Better to be thought an IDIOT than to open your mouth and remove all doubt! Hard to believe that these people are considered “leaders” !!
When Insults Had Class… These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir, ” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy .” -Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – – Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” – Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” -Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”- Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
Thanks to everyone for their contributions.
Have a great Friday.