Now There Is A Ken Doll For EVERYONE !

Most of you by now, whether you wanted to or not, have heard that Mattel Toys has come out with new editions of the Ken doll. Ken now comes in seven skin tones, three body types, eight hair colors, and nine hairstyles (including cornrows, fade, shaggy dog, quiff and buzz cut). Please don’t ask me which is which. He also has a new closet full of wardrobe possibilities that include skinny suits, faux hipster plaid and beach bum tanks.

A FEW OF THE NEW KENS NOW AVAILABLE

But by all accounts, the most in demand is the “Man Bun” Ken, that I’m told comes with shirt, shorts, shoes, $50,000 in student loan debt, his own safe space, and keys to Barbie’s car that he’s driving until he “gets back on his feet again”.

While this is a huge step in repairing bruised egos and feelings of being shunned by society by many confused millennials on the left , it still leaves room for many to feel slighted. Righteously, there should be as many type ‘Kens’ available as there are sexual gender identifications.

I have made a few mock-ups to send to the manufacturer that will help alleviate the pain and isolation  for some of the ignored . Place your pointer on their pictures to see their names and get acquainted with them , and possibly pick one out for your favorite lib. Christmas is just around the corner !

TRADITIONAL KENS

 

NON-TRADITIONAL KENS

 

KINKY KENS

 

POLITICO WANK KENS

 

RACE BAITER KENS

 

RELIGION OF PEACE KENS

 

 

ANATOMICALLY CORRECT KENS  W/PENIS

 

REAL AMERICAN KEN

MAGA KEN

 

See any you like ? Tough choice, huh ? Since I don’t have any lib friends, I’m going with the MAGA KEN.  In fact, I think I’ll get a few of them for all of my ex-lib pals. HO HO HO !

~Terry

Tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Now There Is A Ken Doll For EVERYONE !

  1. Wise Owl says:

    I have heard that Ken comes with Barbie, both others swear she fakes it and only comes with G.I. Joe.

  2. malenurseken says:

    OMG Its time for a name change here!!!!

  3. malenurseken says:

    My GF name is Christina! Hahahaha

  4. Hardnox says:

    You crack yourself up don’t you bro? 🙂

    Good grief… the imbeciles at Mattel should be more worried about pissing normal people off than bending over for the weirdos.

    For me, I see future 300 yard targets purchased at the Dollar Store. 🙂

  5. Jules Smith says:

    LOL! I love meth head Ken and Miami Vice Ken. There’s a market for these. Truly. Get ’em on eBay quick!
    PS: Slightly disappointed there’s not a Unicorn riding Ken in rainbow hot pants…

  6. SafeSpace says:

    Hey Terry: Is eyewash supplied with these Kens? How do I un-see these little libtard dee-lights?

  7. malenurseken says:

    Just wondering why called femalenurseken! LOL Real life im just Ken. Got to have some online identity hahahaha

    • Terry says:

      Since you were considering a name change, I was just keeping with the theme of the post Ken. LOL
      It’s better than ‘Trannynurseken’ don’t ya think ? 😉

  8. vonmesser says:

    Man bun….no….douche knot ken.