Dear Gentle Readers,
The following article is a reprint of a post I wrote at about this time last year ( with a few updates ). I’m not re-posting it again because I am lazy. It’s because I don’t want to have to think about these horrors again, or look for new pictures and videos ( eeewww ! ) I’m still nauseous from last year.
But, I feel it is important for new and old readers to know about, and be exposed to this.
WHY ? you may ask.
BECAUSE I don’t want to suffer alone !
And we should all stick together. RIGHT ?
That’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it !
Trannies. Gays. Indescribables. Fags.
I’M LOOKING FOR GAY LOVERS…..….TO RUN OVER WITH MY TRUCK !
And it would be as easy as shooting LGBTQs in a barrel where I live this weekend.
Fortunately for me, I live just a short hop across a bridge from a beautiful beach with sugar-white sand and turquoise water.
Unfortunately for me and the majority of residents that call this little slice of Heaven home, we will be invaded by 10s of thousands queers, dykes, trannies, gender-confused, and other assorted labels of perverts, on full obnoxious display on our beach, in our stores, restaurants, bars, and most other public places, the whole 4 day weekend. And for some, even longer.
Keep in mind that this is no Miami or Daytona sized beach. It’s about an 8 square mile spit of barrier island with a year-round population of only a few thousand residents.
It has become an un-welcomed tradition that started as a small unnoticed gathering of a few queers back in the 1960’s, and has exploded like a pus-filled zit to estimates of up to 100,000 or more. I’m concerned we may “tip over” from the excess faggot weight !
We are now regarded as “The Gay Riviera” during this ‘holiday’ period. Seriously. Google “Gay Riviera” and there we are. It’s quite humiliating for us poor local heteros.
Until the ’80’s the gathering was mostly concentrated smack-dab on the main beach area normally frequented by locals, tourists, and families with children. They were subjected to obscene displays of Speedos, exposed asses, and same-sex making out that many times became public oral sex and sodomy.
Eventually the decent people had enough. The sickos were given a designated spot isolated near the National Seashore area a few miles down the beach and away from the non-perverts. They usually begin arriving mid-week and stake out their spots, setting up their tents, kegs, umbrellas, tables, coolers, rainbow flags, and whatever will be needed for the looong weekend of ‘Caligula’ inspired sickness.
Now this is NOT a small spot. It is a strip on the Gulf about 2 miles long, which is PACKED with a small city of shoulder-to-shoulder fags and lezzies and their paraphernalia. The road is solid with parked cars for miles, and they even have their own “Rainbow Trolley” for those who are staying at hotels or just don’t want to drive in their self-inflicted traffic jam.
And though us lowly year-round hetero locals and the straight tourists are not allowed to do so, their camps are allowed to stay in place during the whole disgusting time, which gives them the ” HAH ! See , we ARE special “ attitude that makes me want to smack the Jello-shooters out of them and explain that they have been quarantined due to their sickening displays and because nobody wants to be subjected to them.
Except, of course, the local businesses which suck- up to them like leeches on steroids. I can’t really fault them too much though. They have to make their bucks during the summer season in order to hold them over during the very lonely winter months. This is NW Florida and we actually have a cold season here.
They have concerts on their beach area, and most all of the bars and nightclubs have “special entertainment” which consists of events like: Foam Party/Bikini and Board Shorts Party featuring ‘Sexacola’ Go-Go Dancers ( yes, they even have the nerve to change the beach’s name for the weekend), drag shows, Glow in the Dark Hookup Parties, and wet T-shirt contests ( somehow it’s just not the same with little mens exposing their nipples in see-thru wet T-shirts ).
Those are just some of the tamer goings-on. The real debauchery occurs (I’ve been told) when they all get back to their Homo-On-The Range beach camp sites. I don’t even want to think about what goes on then, and from the amount of Vaseline and K-Y jelly containers and used condoms left laying amid all the other trash left behind, it’s pretty scary to speculate.
And talking about the trash……Aaaaarrrrggghhh !
Despite the presence of many many many receptacles provided, some can’t be bothered to use them. Many of them purchase their disposable supplies such as tents, beach chairs, coolers, rafts, etc.. etc.. when they arrive, and that’s just what they do : Dispose of them, on the sand, where we pay the city to clean up after they sashay back to wherever they came from.
And despite all of the many many many port-a-johns provided them, some can’t be bothered to use them either.
So where do they go to do their business ?
Two places : the sand dunes and the water. Yeah, the sand everyone walks on, and the water everyone swims in. If you happen to be downstream from them, you may notice a floating ‘Baby Ruth’ pass by. DO NOT EAT UNWRAPPED CANDY !!
So I say : LET THE GAYS BEGIN !
I’ll be doing what I’ve been doing since the Rocky Homo Picture Show started rearing it’s ugly head around here back in the ’80s : Go to town to visit our Veterans Memorial Park, say a prayer,and look for the names of old ‘Nam buddies etched on our mini Wall South,and Thank those who gave it all for us, even for the perverts.
Then I’ll go home, fire up the grill, and watch documentaries on the Military Channel, and old war movies, and remember those guys and what Monday is truly all about :
As a BONUS for anyone who may give a shit, here’s a vid of a past fag weekend . This crowd stretches for about 2 miles.
NO I didn’t shoot the video !
AND, as an EXTRA ADDED BONUS, we had this ‘gay’ occurrence this year :
And maybe next year……