Funny Friday

How bad are the schools in Chicago ?

Darqueeze played high school football in Chicago. He was a great running back, but a really poor student.

At graduation, he didn’t have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the principal give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the principal agreed that if Darqueeze could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.

The one question test was held in the auditorium and all the students packed the place.

It was standing room only. The principal was on the stage and told him to come up. Diploma in hand, the principal said: “Darqueeze, if you can answer this one question correctly I’ll give you your diploma.”

“Darqueeze, how much is three times seven?”

Darqueeze looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, pondering the question.

The other students began chanting, “Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!”

Then Darqueeze held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. He said, “I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one.”

A hush fell over the auditorium and then all the other students began to chant…….”Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”

—oo—

Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private “OFF LIMITS” area on all aircraft carriers. Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl, CINCPAC advised, “Female sleeping quarters will be “out-of-bounds” for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time.” He continued, “Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?”

At this point, a Marine from the security detail assigned to the ship stood up in the crowd and inquired… “How much for a season pass?”

—oo—







































(special thanks to Gil, Buck, Skip, Jules, Von Messer, and Earl for their contributions)

Have a wonderful friday and a better weekend.

Now it’s your turn to submit jokes… I know you got ’em.

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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8 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. Jules Smith says:

    Hahahahahahaha! I lOVE your funny Friday’s! Happy Easter! 🙂

  2. Terry says:

    You are on target today Nox….bwahahahahaaaa…

    ———————
    A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

    HUSBAND WANTED:
    MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70s), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUSTN’T RUN AROUND ON ME, MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

    On the second day, she heard the doorbell.
    Much to her surprise (and dismay), she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!”
    The old man smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
    She snorted, “You don’t have any arms either!” Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you.”
    She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed???” The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,
    “Rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
    —————————————————————-

    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they partook in many activities and adventures together. Of late their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
    One day when they were playing cards, one looked at the other and said:
    “Now don’t get mad at me – I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
    Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,
    “How soon do you need to know ?”

  3. Uriel says:

    ROFL These are purrrfect. Loved them all. BLESSED Easter Everyone.

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