Funny Friday

A German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,  “Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder if there are any more around here.”

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

“Whew!” says the panther, “That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says.

“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”

Moral of this story…

Don’t mess with the old dogs.  Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!  Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

—oo—

Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said: “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers and I voted twice for Obama.”

She starts work in the morning.

—oo—

Meanwhile in San Francisco

New Snowflake Gadsen Flag

“Ground Hag Day”

(special thanks to Terry , Skip, and Gil for their contributions)

Have a great Friday.

~ Hardnox

 

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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6 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. Adrienne says:

    A bunch of great ones, Hardnox. Thanks

  2. SafeSpace says:

    Satire just keeps getting better — an unexpected benefit of the Trump victory.

  3. W Barna says:

    OUTSTANDING collection! Everyone, have a great American weekend!

  4. Shar says:

    The fake I.D. was priceless.

  5. Terry says:

    Love the ‘evolution’ one ! Maybe we need a few cavemen to beat some sense into those mamby-pamby girlyboys.

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    Socialist jokes aren’t funny…unless everybody gets it.
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    Two Yankee boys were driving through the South and were stopped by a state trooper.
    The trooper walked up to the open driver’s window, reached in and slapped the driver on the side of his head.
    “What did you do that for?” the driver asked.
    “I don’t know how y’all do it up north, but here in Alabama you have your driver’s license ready when I walk up to the car.”
    The trooper took the license when it was offered, walked back to his unit and then returned the license to the driver.
    He then walked around to the passenger side of the car and tapped on the window.
    When the passenger rolled the window down, the trooper reached in and slapped the passenger on the side of the head.
    “What did you do that for?” asked the startled passenger.
    “Well,” responded the trooper, “I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You’ll get about two miles down the road and then say, ‘I wish that redneck woulda tried that with me!’”