Don’t Give A ‘Hoot’

The world has gone so far to the left that it is politically incorrect to find women attractive. What good is a pile of tasteless wings or a greasy, overpriced burger if we can’t look at hot chicks?

As reported in The Tampa Times, the Clearwater, FL.-based Hooters Management Corp., the smaller of the two companies that operate Hooters restaurants around the world, announced Tuesday it will open “Hoots, A Hooters Joint”, outside of Chicago next month.

Hoots will feature an abbreviated, one-page menu with some of the most popular items from full-service Hooters restaurants, including its classic chicken wings, in a new, scaled-down concept that’s part of the fast-casual trend, a news release said.

One thing customers won’t be seeing at Hoots: the iconic Hooters uniform of orange shorts and tight white tank tops that helped earn the chain distinction as a “breastaurant.” Spokeswoman Lizz Harmon said that the Hoots concept will eschew the revealing outfits, and will also feature both male and female servers at the counter.

Without the – ahem – “ladies”, The Hoot is just one more anonymous sports bar, and not a very original one at that.  The food is at best marginal, and one can get a cold beer pretty much anywhere these days. Now male “hipsters, with billy goat beards, dreadlocks, knit hats, nasty tattoos, man buns, and ear lobe tunnels will be shedding armpit hairs in the customers overpriced, mediocre, food.
Its simple business math – no girls, no customers.  No customers, no revenue.  No revenue, no Hooters

I’m predicting that this move will send Hooters tits-up among the other ‘stiff’ competition in the plethora of over rated, slop-and-go eateries. First went Playboy, now goes the Hooters.  My God, the world has gone crazy!

They need to open a completely new restaurant chain if they want to

do this. I suggest calling the new restaurants “Nuts” , have the waiters wear tights, and use a squirrel as the logo – holding a pair of nuts of course.

My idea for the new “NUTS” logo

It will be a huge hit with the homos, and it can still use the same motto : 




Of course, there will be some of the more traditional, testosterone-driven, red- blooded men who may not take a fancy to the idea .



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11 Responses to Don’t Give A ‘Hoot’

  1. Hooters without the ladies is a waste of my time and I think theirs, but who am I that my opinion should count for anything. But I can tell you that I don’t go to Hooter’s for the food. I also doubt I am the only one!

  2. GruntOfMonteCristo says:

    The food ain’t that great. I predict failure. Immediate failure. Something Chicago is getting used to.

  3. captbogus2 says:

    Anyone want to start a pool as to how long it takes for Hooters to go tits up and file bankruptcy???

  4. Hardnox says:

    Political Correctness can eff up a two-car funeral. I’m with Buck… tits up in record time. Leave it to morons to screw up a decent and successful business model at the altar of idiocy.