Funny Friday Part Two: Combating Regulatory Overreach

This story may well be apocryphal, but ya gotta love it anyway! Thanks to RGH for sourcing it.

The State of Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sends a letter to a home/landowner asking for permission to access a creek on their property to document the decline in a certain species of unheard of frogs.

The property owners response in the second letter is EPIC !

Letter from Oregon Dept. of Fish & Wildlife:

Dear Landowner:

ODE Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs and other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing this letter to request your permission to access your property.

Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute to the conservation of this important species.

Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you are willing to let us cross your property or not.

If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We would love to talk with you about our research.

Sincerely

Steve Melanie
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist

RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS:

Dear Mr. Melanie: Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this matter.

We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a “Frog Habitat” parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle).E You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each addle vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.

If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek Habitat” stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).

Survey units open between 8 am. and 3 pm. but you cannot commence survey until 9 am. and must cease all survey activity by 1 pm.

Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18in handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BAP-free plastics or wooden handles.

After 1 pm. you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the “Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident).

Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device back into the environment unharmed.

As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units and application is again only $8.00 per application.

However, all fees can be waives if you can verify “Native Indian Tribal rights and status”.

You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog Surveys and You” comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.

This course is offered on-line through an accredited program for a nominal fee of $750.00.

Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.

Sincerely,

Larry & Amanda Anderson.

— SafeSpace —

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2 Responses to Funny Friday Part Two: Combating Regulatory Overreach

  1. I.R. Wayright says:

    I had to give up hunting and fishing license purchases in PA. I decided the regulations are so hard to figure out and stay in compliance with that it would be easier and cheaper to just hunt or fish without a license and take your chances of getting caught and paying a fine. I got a senior fishing license good for life. Or so I thought, it needs a $15 renewal every year. Want trout? Got to pay an extra fee for that too. Screwem. I’m done.
    I used to tell my customers that the only people at (insert favorite business) that never got fired were the ones who raised prices. Government operates the same way. Get a government job and as long as you can write crazy regulations, you’ll have a job for life.
    Want to take your canoe to the local dam/lake? Sorry, got to have a boat license and a boat launching permit. I used to be able to go to a state park shooting range for free. Not anymore. They closed it for about two years to clean up the lead and now it costs $35 a year for the privilege. Thanks, I’ll just shoot in my backyard.
    Bastards.
    If they put bureaucrats as targets at the shooting range, then I would gladly pay a fee to shoot there. Who wouldn’t?

  2. Uriel says:

    love this Safespace! Ilaughed the whole way through.

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