Funny Friday

I love Thanksgiving turkey … it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

—oo—

News Update from Canada

The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified, in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans, who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. 

Canadian border residents say, it’s not uncommon, to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, human caused global-warming activists, and “green” energy proponents crossing their fields, at night.

“I went out, to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.  “He was cold, exhausted, and hungry, and begged me for a latte, and some free-range chicken.  When I said I didn’t have any, he left, before I even got a chance, to show him my screenplay.

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers, that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears, and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers, who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left, to fend for themselves, after the battery dies. 

“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had, was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, and some kale chips.  When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.

Rumors are circulating about plans being made, to build re-education camps, where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs, that actually contribute to the economy.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip, to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans, in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses, and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como, and Rosemary Clooney, to prove that they were alive, in the ’50s. 

“If they can’t identify the accordion player, on The Lawrence Welk Show (Myron Floren DJ), we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained, that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD’s, and are overloading the internet, while downloading jazzercise apps, to their cell phones. 

“I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said.  “After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?

—oo—

af1


airforcenone


ass

Truckload of Democrats seen leaving Washington, DC


cali


cigar


donald-trump-polls


extradition


horse-wrong-picture


legacy


lose


media


mooch


never-t-crow


obama-trump-riots


prison


ramadan


refund


reverse-racism


riots


sadbiden


safe


tears


trump


 

victory


x

(Special thanks to Terry, Skip, Brian, Blessed B, and Gil for their contributions)

Have a great Friday.

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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15 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. clyde says:

    Loved the horse meme. Too bad he didn’t shit on the libtard.

  2. SafeSpace says:

    Gems all — especially toppling the statue of Saddam – er, I mean, Barack!

  3. Just Gene says:

    Have you guys had a mental check-up lately – hilarious!!!!!
    luvya

  4. Artisan says:

    Hardnox love your funny fridays! Keep em coming bro!

  5. Terry says:

    Good stuff today ! Can’t wait to go to FB with it.
    That “News Update From Canada” story sounds familiar. Hmmmm…..

    ————————————————————————–

    An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

    As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, ‘What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?’ ‘Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it’. And on and on and on.

    Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
    While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
    The wife answered and was told that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
    Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

    As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
    ‘They’re not hanging Wright tonight,’ she said. To which he whirled around and screamed,
    “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?”

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