Funny Friday


DATING BACK IN 1958

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.

He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

“Oh, come on in!” Peggy Sue’s mother said as she welcomed Fred in.

“Peggy will be down in a minute. So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?” she asked.

“Oh, probably catch a picture show, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the milk bar, maybe take a walk on the beach…”

“Peggy likes to screw, you know,” Mom informed him.

“Is that so?” asked Fred, incredulous.

“Yes,” said the mother. “As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let her!”

“Well, thanks for the tip,” Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

“Have fun, kids,” the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

“The TWIST, Mom , The TWIST!” she angrily yelled at her mother.

“THE DAMN DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!!


a


Regardless of who wins the presidential election this November, we will witness history being made.

If Hillary Clinton wins the U.S. presidential election, it will be the first time in history that two U.S. presidents have slept with each
other!

If Donald Trump wins the U.S. presidential election, it will be the first time in history that a billionaire moves into public housing
vacated by a black family!



A Spanish language teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

“House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.”
“Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”
A student asked, “What gender is ‘Computer’?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups, Male and Female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “Computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men’s group decided that “Computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computadora”), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck to buy accessories for it.









berniescrew


bitch


bj


criminal-2


criminals


debates


ff9


ff10


ff11


ff12


ff13


ff14


ff15


ff16


halloween


lmao


win-win

(Special thanks to Terry, Wendy, Skip, Gene, vonMesser, Gil, Blessed B)

Have a great Friday and even a better weekend.

Listen to the screams from the left…. we’re winning.

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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4 Responses to Funny Friday

  1. upaces88 says:

    You realllly out-did yourself this time! THESE WERE GREAT!!!
    I couldn’t even pick out a favorite!

  2. SafeSpace says:

    That one about voting day on November 9th for the opposition party: That actually happened, in Richmond VA, in 2008, when a fake Board of Elections flyer was distributed to punk dimmocrats: http://pilotonline.com/news/phony-flier-says-virginians-vote-on-different-days/article_a2520c8e-3ccf-5f4b-9816-c34a85adf14d.html

  3. Peppermint says:

    LOL! Lots of good ones!

  4. Terry says:

    This is all a bunch of baby crap on corduroy !
    Lots to share on FB today !

    ___________________________________________________________

    One day, a woman named Nancy received some terrible news. Her beloved grandfather had just passed away. So, she went straight to her grandparents’ house to visit her 92-year-old grandmother and offer her some comfort.
    When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied: “It was a heart attack, he got it while we were making love on Saturday morning.”

    Horrified, Nancy told her grandmother that 2 people nearing 100 years of age probably shouldn’t be indulging in such dangerous passions.

    “Oh no, my dear, ” replied her gran. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous. Simply in on the ‘Ding’ and out on the ‘Dong’.”

    She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued:
    “And if that damned ice cream truck hadn’t come along, he’d still be alive today!”