Madonna One-Ups Katy Perry for Hillary by Going Nude DURING Live Human Sacrifice [SATIRE]

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Gruntington Post [Los Angeles] – Last week, singer Katy Perry failed to think of a novel or interesting way to throw her support behind Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, so she decided to just go nude somewhere.  Sensing a turf violation, the performer Madonna (the one former husband Guy Ritchie termed “F*&@ing Crazy”), insisted on also going nude for Hillary.

She didn’t stop there.  During her performance at Barbra Streisand’s Brentwood estate theater, in front of approximately 50 Hollywood Democrats wearing washable smocks to protect against blood splatter, she performed ritual human sacrifice on all of her dancers.

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Symbolically, in female solidarity with the Lady Candidate, all of the slaughtered dancers were male.  Further, they were ritually beheaded using a sacred scimitar under strict halal code in solidarity with candidate Clinton’s many Saudi Arabian contributors present.

The event was followed by the usual statement by local law authorities and the FBI criticizing Mrs. Clinton and her supporters for “Extreme carelessness with human life,” but there were no charges brought.

About GruntOfMonteCristo

The Grunt of Monte Cristo is just an average guy who loves God and values Truth and Common Sense.
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34 Responses to Madonna One-Ups Katy Perry for Hillary by Going Nude DURING Live Human Sacrifice [SATIRE]

  1. vonmesser says:

    Censored diamond is in wrong place. It needs to be over that red obscene thing in the lower left corner.

  2. Popular Front says:

    yerg – Madonna in the nude. Nauseating. That’s like spying on your granny in the bath. Katy Perry is not much better. Another wannabe mistaking tits for talent and probably still greasy after being shtupped for a few months by that slimy limey Russell Brand.

    • GruntOfMonteCristo says:

      Pretty much true, Pop. Guy Ritchie looked awfully relieved after he cut loose Madonna. And he started making some good movies. Amazing what NOT being around crazy will do for you.

      • Popular Front says:

        Hiya El Grunto. Someone was in bat for you over at DMF the other day, basically politely telling Diogenes to not be an asshole, which was nice. I didn’t know you’d been banned mate, whatever for?

        • GruntOfMonteCristo says:

          Thanks, Pop! It was VERY nice. That was the beautiful and talented British author Juliet Smith, who is a drinking buddy of my wife and a good friend. She stood up for me when she saw the comment about “Suck on that, G!” But poor Jan assumed it was me and banned her! All of the comments have since been removed. Jules tried to ask additional questions, but she was not allowed. If you want to check her out, she’s in the UK at:
          http://www.julessmith.co.uk

          I’m afraid Jan and I have not been speaking (nicely) since the beginning of the year. I stopped contributing after I thought I got snubbed a couple times. Jan made it clear she didn’t give a shit whether I left or not. After I commented again a few months later to object to how she was characterizing Colorado politics, and then a few other comments about Trump, she lowered the boom and banned me, claiming that I should have “kept my word” to remain scarce. Technically, she had a point.

          The “Suck on that, G!” comment was in reference to a couple paragraphs I wrote at Adrienne’s place criticizing Jan’s post about David Catron. She didn’t take kindly to that criticism, but she wasn’t willing to discuss it openly at the time. Oh well. The “Lady” has her mysteries. I don’t think Juliette Smith was very impressed by Jan.

          • Popular Front says:

            Hey Bro, that’s good stuff and funny too. Very English. I’ve bookmarked it and will add it to my reading list.

            • GruntOfMonteCristo says:

              Excellent! I think you’d appreciate Jules’ dark sense of humor!

            • Jules Smith says:

              Why, thank you popular Front. You discerning reader, you! Nice bike 😉

              • Blessed B says:

                Hi Jules! I just tried to subscribe to your site and couldn’t…. bummer! About those new “Bunch of Fives”…..Canada has the new bills also. They maybe waterproof but don’t forget them in your pocket and throw the clothing in the washer or dryer. From the washer…they will be crumpled up and you can’t get them flat again! If they go in the dryer…..well, you just lost the bill forever as you won’t be able to discern it from any other ball of plastic!. Literally money down the drain! 🙂

                BTW…..welcome to Hardnox & Friends!

                • So, what was the problem with subscribing, BB? Jules is on Greenwich time, so probably won’t be able to get back until morning, and is also getting ready to travel to the USA this week. Let me know if I can help, and in the meantime, I’ll check on issues with subscribing.

                  • Jules Smith says:

                    I’ll bear that in mind BB. I’m sorry you can’t subscribe that’s outrageous! Let me know what happens and I’ll look into it so you can and we can swap tips on plastic moolah! Thank you for the welcome – I’ll be back!

                • Popular Front says:

                  Hmmm, that’s interesting. Here in Australia we’ve had polymer banknotes for years now. They’re hard but not impossible to cut or tear but they don’t go weirdo if you put them through the laundry and they are near impossible to burn without using an accelerant. Perhaps Canada and the UK are using a different compound?

                  • Pop, keep in mind that BB lives in a remote mining camp in the Alberta outback. Her dryer is heated by an acetylene, benzene, toluene and hi-pressure oxygen inferno that “flash dries” the clothes. It’s much harder on the currency. 😉

          • Terry says:

            Hey Grunt, ya need me to take care of somebody for ya ? wink wink

          • Jules Smith says:

            Anytime mate. Blarmed and dangerous 😉

  3. Terry says:

    OMG ! I can’t believe HildaBeast would approve these scandalous actions.
    It is so…so…..un-ladylike.

    • Uriel says:

      Now Terry have you forgotten so quickly all those times her security got in trouble for riotous behavior while on those multitudinous trips abroad that she so often and proudly hails as her best accomplishment while Secretary of State or who some of the Clinton’s bestie buddies are and their umm interesting life styles. That is such a fake southern lady pose and hides the heart of a cobra.

      • You talking about that time in Colombia when 100% of her Secret Service advance team were busted with hookers in their rooms? And then the locals rioted because the SS guys tried to stiff the hookers? Maybe ‘stiff’ is the wrong word…

  4. Hardnox says:

    YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Sluts For Hillary 2016!

    Good grief. The left is totally nuts, and those douches want to be role models for our youth. Right.

  5. Blessed B says:

    Nothing like a little human sacrifice to get the crowd in a party spirit! Bet they saved the blood in a punch bowl to drink from champagne glasses later…during their orgy…..

    Dims are such sick puppies. They should be neutered or put to sleep!

    • They are definitely a sick crowd. During a recent DNC convention, they booed God 3 times during a vote on putting faith language into the party platform. And their most sacred issue is keeping baby-killing legal and well-funded. They (figuratively) bath in the blood of children, so your statements are not far off!