In civilized life domestic hatred usually expresses itself by saying things
which would appear quite harmless on paper (the words are not offensive) but in such a voice, or at such a moment, that they are not far short of a blow in the face. To keep this game up you and Glubose must see to it that each of these two fools has a sort of double standard. Your patient must demand that all his own utterances are to be taken at their face value and judged simply on the actual words, while at the same time judging all his mother’s utterances with the fullest and most oversensitive interpretation of the tone and the context and the suspected intention. She must be encouraged to do the same to him. Hence from every quarrel they can both go away convinced, or very nearly convinced, that they are quite innocent.
CS Lewis The Screwtaper Letters #3:
The Democrats are very good at this. They have perfected the innuendo and ability to warp the meaning of anything a conservative says, while making the nastiest cracks and then being innocently angered when their words ae taken with the value of the tone they added to them