Funny Friday – August 26, 2016

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale”.

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.  The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking
Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so … I joined the CIA.

“In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. “I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. “But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he lies worse than Hillary. He’s never been out of the yard.”

—oo—

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.  Everything quickly turned to chaos.

The bride slapped the groom.

The groom’s mother fainted.

The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward?  What do you have to say?”

The woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”

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America 2008 – 2016

america

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Some health tips…

beer

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caveman health

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bill

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Oh, about Hillary’s health… never mind.

hillary3

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Business tips…

clintoprosperity

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Business[lan

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And then there’s these whistle blowers we keep reading about…

clintons1

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dnc

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scooby—oo—

hillary2

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hillary2016

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Latest Hillary polls….

hillarypolls

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Clinton cash…

huma

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jail

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From our bullshit media…

limpstream media1

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The Olympics are finally over but there’s still a job for Ryan Lochte…

lochte

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Meanwhile in Louisiana…

obama-flood

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louisiana.2jpg

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louisiana

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homo

(hat-tip to David, Uriel, Skip, vonMesser and Gil for their contributions)

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Have a great Friday and a better weekend.  

Remember to piss-off a lefty.  The future of our country depends on it.

~ Hardnox

 

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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5 Responses to Funny Friday – August 26, 2016

  1. Annie Mac says:

    Just keep them coming! Love them!

  2. Just Gene says:

    Hillary, always hungry for money, and understanding women’s obsession with shoes, is now opening her line of Clinton “sandals”. Her motto – “One can never have too many sandals.”