Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So y’all want to be cops, huh?”
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, “To be a detective, you have to be able to detect.
You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth.”
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. “Now,” he said,”did you notice
any distinguishing features about this man?”
The blonde immediately said,
“Yes, I did. He has only one eye!”
The detective shook his head and said, “Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It’s a profile of his face!
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said,
“What about you? Notice anything unusual or Outstanding about this man?”
“Yes! He only has one ear!”
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, “Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man’s
face! Of course you can only see one ear!
You’re excused too!”
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, “This is probably a waste of time, but….”
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, “All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or Unusual about this man?”
The blonde said, “I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.
“The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, “You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?”
The blonde rolled her eyes and said,
“Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only One eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses.”
A good reminder!!
As we get closer to the 2016 election year, US citizens must remember
that they cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs.
The last time she had a meaningful job, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky. …
And Monica blew it.
None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity and clumsiness, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, “You’re driving me mad, Tyrone.”
One day Tyrone’s mom came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had she seen such a stupid boy in her entire teaching career.
The mom was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit , relocating to Cleveland .
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an almost incurable cardiac disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic could perform. Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful.
When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her. She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but quickly died .
The doctor was shocked, wondering what went wrong so suddenly. Then he turned around and saw our friend Tyrone, a janitor in the Clinic, who had unplugged the life-support equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner.
Don’t tell me you thought Tyrone became a heart-surgeon. Well, maybe you did if you voted for Obama.
Democrats Hold Massive Rally for Hillary
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.”
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding? I’m in Congress too. What state are you from?”
Two Mexicans are riding a bicycle on a road about 15 miles outside of Lafayette, LA. One of the bike’s tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift Back into town.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them they can ride in the trailer if they could fit in with 20,000 bowling balls he is hauling.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. Wanting to make up time the trucker speeds up. Sure enough a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding.
The officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies “Mexican eggs.”
The Blond Lady Cop obviously doesn’t believe this so she takes a look in the trailer. She opens the back door and shocked, quickly shuts it
And locks it.
She calls for immediate backup from headquarters, the Border Patrol and the Swat Team.
The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that requires so many officers.
“I stopped a Tractor-Trailer with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it… Two have hatched and they’ve already stolen a bicycle.”
Public Service Announcement for Men:
(hat-tip to Skip, Blessed B, Gil, Garnet, Grouchy)
Have a great Friday,