An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’ I now have a 20 yr-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
‘So what do you think about that Doc?’
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
‘I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.’
One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.’
‘As he neared a lake, he came across a very large beaver sitting at the water’s edge.
He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle, and went ‘bang, bang’..’
‘Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that ?’ asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, ‘Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.’
The doctor replied, ‘My point exactly.’
“If we can manage to convince the Chinese that Jihadists’ testicles are aphrodisiacs, Within ten years they’ll have all disappeared…”
Think about it and spread the word.
At the risk of stereotyping…
Bruce Jenner had never had an automobile accident until he became a woman driver.
I’m just sayin’…
Hospital visit In the hospital where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.”
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, “How much will a brain cost?” The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a Democrat’s brain; $200 for a Republican’s brain.” The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans.
A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the Democrat’s brain so much more than a Republican’s brain?”
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans’ brains a lot lower because they’re used.
Think you’re having a bad day?
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn’t find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: “I have circled the block 10 times. If I don’t park here, I’ll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses.”
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note “I’ve circled this block for 10 years. If I don’t give you a ticket I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.”
(Hat-tip Grouchy, Buck, Skip, Kathy, Jim, Crawfish, Gene )
Have a great Friday and a better weekend.
“Everyday is a holiday”