Global Warming Insanity For Feb 1 2015

Here we go again. The loony left, not content to blame EVERYTHING on man-made global warming is NOW blaming mankind for…removing polar bear penises.

Uh-huh. That’s right. You aren’t seeing things. In this tidbit of lunacy, courtesy of Joseph Rossell at Newsbusters.org, he gives us the straight skinny.

 

Warning: Graphic Language

Mankind really has it in for polar bears, at least according to the left. Liberal media have spent years claiming mankind was killing the cute little man-eating monsters by destroying their homes with global warming.

Now, the liberal eco-blog Grist has announced the latest painful assault on the cuddly environmental icons. The Jan. 27 headline said it all in surprisingly personal detail: “We are literally breaking polar bear penises now.

Polar bears everywhere are wincing as they read this.

“Good God. “Liberals are SOOOOO Stupid.”

“In case you weren’t convinced that humans are just the worst, new research shows we’re not content to merely melt polar bear habitat by rollin’ coal — we are literally giving the beleaguered species a kick in the dick,” Grist Managing Editor Ted Alvarez declared in his snarky post.

“HEY, Ted Alvarez, you asshat. It is RIGHT HERE. Come gitcha some”.

The “chemical pollutants” responsible, according to Grist, were PCBs — a class of chemical that the U.S. banned in 1979. But somehow is now destroying the dating life of male polar bears.

Alvarez cites a Jan. 26, New Scientist article that reported “polar bears with high levels of pollutants called organohalogens in their bodies had both smaller testes and a smaller penis bone.”

Stating the findings somewhat less scientifically, Alvarez told his readers, “Congratulations, we’re all collective cockblockers now.”

Grist’s post was only the latest of many media stories complaining about extreme examples of environmental harm caused by mankind. These included a “record” walrus beaching, more blizzards, increased wildfires, and overcrowding and disease in the underdeveloped world.

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Is there ANYONE on the planet who has gotten close enough to a male polar bear to “whack his peepee” ?  And pray tell HOW did these so-called “killerPCBs” get TO the Arctic ?  Jesus Christ, WHY are these lunatics allowed to be in a FREE society ?

I find this amazing. Article after article about the EVER-INCREASING polar bear numbers tell me this story is some ecoloon’s wet dream. Be SURE you read Alvarez’ screed. I about pissed myself laughing.

Apparently, no one at Grist reads anything but comic books. With polar bear numbers at their highest levels in DECADES, ice coverage in the Arctic expanding over 4 MILLION square miles in two years, these assholes from Grist obviously need a new mission. Reporting FACTS must be anathema to them.

Grist loonies, I have a project for you, and IF you succeed, you COULD prove me wrong. Easy to do, even for morons such as yourself. First, get a BIG crew from your “news room”, dress as female polar bears, and WHATEVER you do, keep your iPhone WELL CHARGED, be sure to douse yourselves in female polar bear estrus and pheromones, and set out on your search DURING breeding season.

Trust me, males WITH, or WITHOUT a penis WILL find you. Once that happens, lure the “cuddly,endangered monster” in close, so you can see what he’s “packing”, whip out your iPhones, and get a picture of his johnson.

“Goddamn. Those Grist loons taste like SHIT. Ain’t enough Cokes on the planet to get that taste outta my mouth”.

Once you accomplish this, get back to me. BTW, just make sure your next of kin KNOWS where you are going, and what you are doing.

A Clyde tip o’ the cap to Bullright. Thanks.

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CLYDE. Anyone know if Grist is good for a bear’s digestive system ?

 

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16 Responses to Global Warming Insanity For Feb 1 2015

  1. Blessed B. says:

    Clyde…I just about pee-peed my pants from reading your post on this! LMAO! Good thing I wasn’t drinking at the computer desk! Those photos and your comments are priceless!

    The sad part about this…. think just how much monies would be given to these asshats to do the study!

    I’m sure since the polar bear population has been growing, that there is nothing wrong with the male polar bears male apparatus! I suspect though that is not the case with the eejits who are claiming that the polar bear is sorely lacking in this respect.

    Me thinks this is a case of ” they protesteth too much”……maybe it’s a case of being jealous????

  2. Hardnox says:

    Good post. The insanity continues.

    Loved your commentary.

    • Clyde says:

      Thanks, Boss. Glad you liked it. “The insanity continues”. Glad it does. It keeps me “gainfully employed”. Won’t get “laid off” this way.

  3. Kathy says:

    Somebody has too much time and money on their hands if they don’t have anything better to do than gawk at polar bear parts. I’ve heard of some stupid stuff, Clyde, but this one might be the top, at least for now.

    • Clyde says:

      Just when I think the loons can’t get ANY loonier, I find shit like this. Well, Kathy, as I said to Nox, at least it keeps me in a job.

  4. Garnet92 says:

    The environmental whackos are completely out of touch. Since we all know that Global Warming is a crock, Global Cooling is really what’s happening – and everyone knows what happens when the male polar bears go swimming in colder water – SHRINKAGE. Haven’t they ever watched Seinfeld? George Costanza can enlighten them about shrinkage – and for free, no grant money necessary.

  5. Grouchy says:

    Clyde, this is totally beyond insanity, if this article is not labeled sarcasm.
    Are you sure this isn’t a spoof???

  6. Just Gene says:

    I think you screwed up Clyde – didn’t you mean to put this on Funny Friday!!!!!
    luvya

  7. Bullright says:

    Now we know there is really no limits to the Liberal lunacy. Why is that never endangered?? Great writeup Clyde. I’m sure there will be some takers out there, as smart as they are. So let’s hope some of the pictures survive at least.

    • Clyde says:

      Damn, Bull, I’d pay to see those. Much like my third photo, no doubt. Thanks again for shooting this my way. I appreciate that.