THE ENVELOPES PLEASE !!!!!

 

The polls have closed, the votes have been tallied, and NOW it is time for the awards.

Yes, dear readers, the time has come. Now, without further ado, here are the results of the Hardnox And Friends.com first annual Asshat Of The Year Awards.

It ALL comes down to THIS, the H&F Asshat Of The Year Trophy. So many deserving recipients, so FEW trophies…..

 

 

We will begin with the first category this year, that of Liar Of The Year.

Liar Of The Year First Runner-up : with a total of 8 votes was Jonathon Gruber, of the infamous Obamacare panel, who, in the fall secured his nomination with this gem : ” Lack of transparency is a huge political advantage. And basically, call it the stupidity of the American voter or whatever, but basically that was really really critical for the thing to pass”. What a WONDERFUL man for America, eh? Now, on to our Asshat Of The Year, Liar Category: Put your hands together for none other than Hillary Clinton. This was a HUGE victory for Mrs. Clinton, with a 17 vote advantage over runner up Gruber, with a whopping 25 votes. Mrs. Clinton was primarily nominated for the consistent lies surrounding the Benghazi investigation, but there were SO many, it was difficult for the Committee to narrow it down to one.

Hillary Clinton, upon receiving the Asshat Of The Year Award for Liar. Who knew the hag could show ANY emotion?

 

On to our NEXT category, Moonbat Of The Year. This was by far THE most difficult category to select just 5 nominees, as one can imagine.

But, the Committee was able to “git-r-done”. Our First Runner-up, with 17 votes, Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee, D-Tx., for her overall lunacy. Ms. Jackson-Lee certainly personifies the leftist mindset perfectly, does she not ? And now, for the winner of Asshat Of The Year, Moonbat category : with a stellar 21 votes, give it up for Rep. Nancy Pelosi, aka San Fran Nan, aka Nancy Peelousy, ad nauseum. Ms. Pelosi will most likely NEVER be equalled in the annals of true moonbattery.

 

Now was there ANY doubt in this category ? San Fran Nan Pelosi. She is right up there for a Lifetime Achievement Award as well.

 

Moving right along, we come to Asshat Of The Year, Environmentalist Hypocrite.

This category was a toughy as well, what with ALL leftist environmentalists being hypocrites, BUT, the Committee was able to find those who were the most egregious. This one was also our closest race by far. First Runner-up goes to Dr. Michael Mann, he of the discredited “Hockey Stick Graph” fame, an all around asshole, and soon to be a LOSER in a court case against Mark Steyn. Mann pulled in 9 votes. On to our Asshat Of The Year in Environmentalist Hypocrite,  another WELL DESERVED award, goes to a real asshole, with 10 votes, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. This dickhead wants YOU to have to “live green”, but HE does NOT. He also was leading the charge to BAN wind turbine farms, which he champions for everywhere else, out of Narrangansett Bay, because it “blocked their ocean view”, and may impede their sailing.

“Environmentalist” my ass. Looking like a typical drunken Kennedy. Another hypocrite who flies in PRIVATE jets, lives in MULTIPLE mansions, you get the picture. RFK Jr. AHOTY, Environmentalist Hypocrite.

 

Here is an award eagerly anticipated. And here it is. The Leftist Lying Media Asshat Of The Year.

In another real head scratcher, due to the sheer volume of worthy nominees, the Committee was able to narrow it down to the requisite 5. In THIS category we had a tie. Ed Schultz, and lady-looks-like-a-dude Rachel Maddow tied, with 15 votes each. The tiebreaker was yours truly, and that vote went to who I thought was the WORST of the WORST. Dear readers, it is with PRIDE I give you Ed Schultz, by virtue of the tiebreaker, the Leftist Lying Media Asshat Of The Year, with Maddow as first runner-up.

And WHAT would an asshat LOOK like ? Here is your answer. Our Leftist Lying Media AHOTY, Sgt. Ed Schultz. Take special note of the hat.

 

 

Moving along to Asshat Of The Year, Traitor Group.

This one had some surprise nominees, but in the end the results were not surprising. In as First Runner-up, with 14 votes, John Boehner, Speaker of the House. Our Asshat Of The Year, Traitor Group, needs no introduction, nor flowery praise. Get on your knees for The Won, The Mess-iah, King Putt, Sir Golfsalot, He of Man’s Country, with a superb 25 votes, Barack Hussein Obama. Not much else to say, is there? bwahahahaha.

A REAL worthy recipient of THIS award, the LEADER of the Choom Gang, Barack Hussein Obama.

 

Flaming right along, we come to Asshat Of The Year, Racist Category.

This was a MUCH easier category to find worthy nominees, but, there really wasn’t much question. First Runner-up, with a meager 10 votes, taking home the honor was, once again, Barack Hussein Obama. He could not hold a candle, nor a flaming cross to our Asshat Of The Year, Racist category WINNER, the MOST Rev. Al Sharpton, with a HUGE 26 votes. Mr. Sharpton becomes eligible for a Lifetime Achievement Award with his shellacking of the competition.

Al Sharpton, our Racist Asshat Of the Year. Ran away with it like looters fleeing from a flaming liquor store.

 

 

Nearing the end of tonight’s festivities, we have the Asshat Of The Year, RINO category.

Another hard group to get narrowed down to 5 degenerates, the Committee labored tirelessly but were able to persevere. Our First Runner-up, a name most of you know, and at least loathe, the hopefully retired next election cycle John McCain, RINO exratordinaire, Arizona. This clown’s tireless efforts to demonize conservatives also lands him consideration for a Lifetime Asshat Achievement. And the winner of Asshat Of the Year, RINO Category, and our ONLY true avalanche, once again, John” Weepy” Boehner, also of Man’s Country with a HUGE 61 % of the vote, 28 tallies for THIS asshat. Let us hope he gets ANOTHER title bestowed upon him next week, and THAT would be FORMER Speaker Of The House.

And THAT, among many things, are what landed Ol’ Weepy with the category prize.

 

AND NOW, For the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the FIRST Annual Hardnox And Friends.com ASSHAT OF THE YEAR.

After MUCH deliberation, and in light of multiple HUGE double digits in more than one category, the Committee is DELIGHTED to give the Award to this MOST DESERVING ASSHAT, the envelope please, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, The Hardnox And Friends. Com Inaugural Asshat Of the Year goes to THE HONORABLE JOHN ” WEEPY” BOEHNER!!!!!!!!!!

 

Speaker John Boehner, upon learning HE was chosen as the H&F Asshat Of The Year. He beat a STRONG field to claim the prize.

 

 

 

I hope you all are as pleased as I am with the selection, voting process, AND our eventual winners in all categories, and once again, on behalf of the Committee, I heartily congratulate John Boehner on winning the Asshat Of The Year Award.

Join us again at the end of 2015, where we will once again “honor” those asshats who are deserving of such scorn and derision, and on behalf of the Committee, a heartfelt thanks to all those who nominated, or cast ballots in our inaugural event. SEE YOU NEXT YEAR !

~

CLYDE. Your humble Asshat Of The Year Master Of Ceremonies.

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7 Responses to THE ENVELOPES PLEASE !!!!!

  1. Blessed B. says:

    Congratulations to all the whiners…. oops…winners!!! Looking forward to seeing who will be nominated for 2015!

    Thanks Clyde for a wonderful job as Master of Ceremonies….. Take a bow!

    • upaces88 says:

      Ya’ll never cease to amaze me at what you come up with. This is BY FAR the BEST site on the internet!!

  2. Kathy says:

    Standing ovation over here for the ClydeMaster. You knocked it out of the park with this one and your narration is over the top.

    Had I the proper authority I would dub you Lifetime Master of Ceremonies, but alas, I can only nominate you. What say ye, fellow voters, are you with me?

    I have to also give you special honorable mention for your epic caption on Al Sharpton…. Classic it is… “Ran away with it like looters fleeing from a flaming liquor store.” Can’t wait for next year.

  3. Terry says:

    Masterful job, Clyde ! You have outdone yourself this time ! And nary an ITD word to bleep out ! I will gladly 3rd that nomination for LMOC !

    On a sad note, it sucks that the top 1st annual award goes to (theoretically) “one of our own”. Hopefully, that will be remedied by the time next year’s AHOTYA nominees are announced.

  4. Clyde says:

    ALL : Thank you so much for the great comments, and your suggestions. This was definitely therapeutic for me, as much as it was humorous for you. This will be an annual event as long as we are “in business”.