Aloha Hawaii. Aloha Ozarks !




In the hopes of saving taxpayers a ton of money this year, I have faxed this brochure to the POtuS. I  included a note saying :

Barry, I hope you will consider this as your Christmas….oops… Holiday retreat this year. Hawaii is soooo far away, and I know you don’t really enjoy lying around looking at sexy women in grass skirts, and hoping to get lei’d. I do believe you will find this more to your liking.

And if Moochie wants to go along, No Problem ! She can just register under her real name, ‘Michael’, and when she/he disrobes, no one will think to question it. Of course, if Mooch doesn’t care to go, you can always call Reggie Love and see if he is available.


The Taxpayers


Looking for a fun and relaxing spot for your next holiday ? Well, look no more !





“A private retreat for Men, in the Ozarks.”

Magnetic Valley Retreat is Arkansas’ Exclusive Private Men’s Retreat, located in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.

Situated on four acres approximately ½ mile from historic downtown Eureka Springs, Magnetic Valley Retreat offers a complete experience for men from all walks of life, from a relaxed and welcoming social scene to a private, intimate atmosphere.

Articles in and The Advocate Magazine named Eureka Springs The Gayest Small Town in America.  With a sizable GLBT community and more than 50 gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses; this bustling historic town offers live music, shops, galleries and an eclectic mix of restaurants, bars and night life.

Your retreat hosts, Alvin Byrd and Charlie Thomas,

I'm guessing 'Charlie' is the 'she'.

I’m guessing ‘Charlie’ is the ‘she’.

are long-time Eureka Springs residents and can recommend any form of dining, shopping, entertainment and cultural events in the area.

Please explore the site and contact us to reserve your suite. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

© Magnetic Valley Retreat
597 Magnetic, Eureka Springs, AR 72632
tel:  479 363-1143

The Dudeplex–$130/night



Three-Way House

features: lockable bedroom, ‘Queen’ bed (of course).

‘Upstairs’ is $80 per night and ‘Downstairs’ is $90 per night. No charge if you are ‘Middleman’



Concerned about bacteria and infectious diseases in our pool ? DON’T WORRY ! We have the most up-to-date filtration system available :



I’m hoping this will appeal to Barry. I expect to hear from him soon. Oh Wait…there’s a loud pounding on my door…I’ll bet that’s him coming to say “Thank You”….

Well, it wasn’t Barry himself, but he did send a couple of representatives to express his appreciation. If you would like to contact me, new address is :

~Terry (FEMA Camp #4)


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16 Responses to Aloha Hawaii. Aloha Ozarks !

  1. Blessed B says:

    LOL! I won’t even ask how you would know about such a place!!!!

    I’m sure you won’t be lonely in that FEMA Camp…. we’ll be joining you soon! 🙂

    • Terry says:

      I’m glad you won’t ask BB. That would be in violation of the “Don’t Ask/ I Don’t tell you no lies” policy !

    • upaces88 says:

      I know this is supposedly funny…I wish could laugh. He and the Moose are an abomination…a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah;..or the Fall of Rome.

  2. Rich B says:

    Thanks Terry. This is a clever and witty post and wonderful idea for our First Lady (not a typo) Beerry Omama. But I bet Beerry and his body-buddy Reggie Love have probably already been to this gay retreat in the Ozarks. I’m sure it brought them a few fond memories of their times in the bathhouses of the Castro District up in San Francisco. But I’ll tell you one damn thing – I would NEVER get into the water in this place, even if I were flaming Queen like Liberace. I don’t care if they disinfect the water with with a million gallons of bleach. Can you imagine what microscopic nasties and tadpoles are floating around in there? Arghhh!

    Personally, I prefer to take my vacations in the contiguous USA. IOW, somewhere I can drive to. Believe it or not, at the age of sixty-one I have never flown nor do I intend to. I suffer from “high anxiety”. Besides, I love to drive and there is so much beauty here in the mainland of America. And I have driven nearly completely across the USA twice. Both times starting from here in Los Angeles (San Pedro). Once on Interstate 80 on my way to Debuque, Iowa (via Las Vegas and interstate 15) and once on Interstate 10 and across Texas. Both drives were great fun so I can’t see a reason to fly to a tourist trap such as Hawaii, even with all its beauty. Then again the Omamas NEVER pay for anything anyway so price isn’t a factor. We pay for these two turds and all of their shit. That includes Moochelle’s nasty little habit of wastefully flying on separate trips via Air Force One.

    As far as going to Hawaii for the umpteenth time since the start of his regime, I do believe there’s an active Volcano right now that good ol’ Beery might wanna take an up close and personal look at it. Perhaps he’ll fall in while staring at his reflection in the hot glossy lava ala the Greek story of Narcissus. So let’s all pray for a “hot” Volcano visit for Beerry Hussein Neville Chamberlain Goebbels Omama. Pray hard!

    Omama can take that half-wit Joe Biden with him too. I realize we’d end up with Boehner as President if my line of succession is correct, but at least we’d only have to worry about him weeping all over the Oval office and getting the desks and carpets wet in the White House instead of destroying our country as Omama is doing. We can get rid of John Boehner in two years anyway.

    P.S. – John Boehner is a nothing but a —————————-. Fill in the blank line with your favorite and most vulgar alternative description of a wussy RINO. But I don’t think Boehner will actively try and destroy the Constitution and America in the process as Beerry Omama has done. But as with all politicians, who knows? I trust very very few.

  3. Hardnox says:

    Funny stuff bro.

    See you at #4.

  4. Bullright says:

    Terry, in #4, I think the problem was that there are not quite enough “accommodations” for the Secret Service. Then there is Valerie’s staff.

    (good ideas)

  5. Kathy says:

    Now, THAT is something the taxpayers could afford. We don’t have to pay for the shots they’ll need afterward, do we? ewww