The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Navy Base.
A ragged old Marine Gunnery Sgt. was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.
A curious young Navy fighter pilot came over to him and asked what he was doing.
‘Fishing,’ the old guy simply said.
‘Poor old fool,’ the Navy officer thought and he invited the ragged old Marine into the pub for a drink.
As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the smart-ass fighter pilot asked, “And how many have you caught?’
‘You’re the eighth,’ the old Marine Gunny answered.
I have always questioned if Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton were really preachers since they have no church.
When I heard Al Sharpton was guest preacher at a black Dallas Church, I decided to check him out in person and see what it was all about.
I sat down and Sharpton came up to me – I don’t know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the Church.
He laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Jesus the Lord All Mighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.”
I told him I was not paralyzed. He came back and laid his hands on me again, and repeated the same thing.
Again I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold, my damn car had been stolen!
Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase “You Gotta Be Shittin Me?” Well, it just so happens to have originated through the father of our country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.
There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington ‘s boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth. Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware.
Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.
Some time later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.
Another hour later, one of his men said, ‘General, I see lights ahead.’ They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house. What they didn’t know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman… A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, ‘Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.’
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, ‘Well, General, you have come to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?’
Washington replied, ‘Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.’
And the Madam said, ‘You gotta be shittin me.’
Have a great Friday.