The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.
Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.”
“Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
“Yes?” said the Instructor.
“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of mother’s Milk.’
The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it’s high enough off the ground where the cat can’t get it.
He got an A.
I was standing at a bar and this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.
I asked him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu ?”
He says “No, why the fruck you ask me that? Is it because I Chinese?”
“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer, you little shit.”
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke’s hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied…
“Mr. Maynard was admitted in Ophthalmology. All we did was correct his eyesight.”
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Yaw know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it different.
The last few years I took your advice about where to go.
“Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.
“Then two years ago you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.
“Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”
Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”
“I’m taking Earlene with me.”
(hat-tip Gunny, Hershey, Skip, Kenny, David, Mrs AL)
Have a great Friday and a better weekend.
Be sure to add your contributions below.