ABC News made sure we ALL were prepared to honor The Queen with this blaring article :
First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 on Friday, but President Obama is saving the big celebration for Saturday night.
A White House official tells ABC News the president is throwing the first lady a dance party Saturday evening, a private gathering for family and friends.
The White House is keeping a tight lid on the other details, but some information for the private event has trickled out in news reports.
Friends and family have been invited to the White House on Saturday night for an evening of “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert.” Guests have been told to wear comfortable shoes and eat before they head over to the White House, where a lot of dancing will be on the agenda. (I guess we should be happy WE aren’t footing the bill for a 12 course dinner…but what an invite, huh?)
And who will join the president in feting the first lady? Over the past year, reports have speculated that singer Adele could perform and maybe even close friend Beyonce, who sang “At Last” as Barack Obama and Michelle Obama danced for the first time as president and first lady at the 2009 Inaugural ball, may belt a song or two for the birthday girl.
While the White House has been quiet about the plans, it’s clear the first lady’s birthday is on the president’s mind. At a White House event Thursday, President Obama reminded the crowd that the first lady’s 50th birthday was quickly approaching.
“It’s her birthday tomorrow so I want everybody to just keep that in mind,” the president said Thursday.
Mrs. Obama herself offered a clue about what dance move she might choose to use to celebrate her 50th birthday.
“I’m going to be 50. Yes, 50. Fifty. Fifty and fabulous,” she said at a children’s hospital last month. “I’m not exactly sure yet what I’m going to do, but it might involve some dancing. A little Dougie.”
You say you don’t know “The Dougie ? Here is a little sample for you :
I tried to dance along, but my ass isn’t fat enough.
ABC, in another article, gives us “50 Ways To Celebrate With” moochie on her 50th anniversary of being an America hating, ghetto biyatch, living it up at OUR expense.
If you want to see THAT putrid article, check it out HERE. I don’t want to waste precious cyber-ink reproducing it for you. But, I will give you a preview :
They include a list of 50 things you can do to get in touch with your inner moochie, from traveling the world on Air Force One to working out your arms.
Which brings us to the fun part of this post. Our friends over at Peoples Cube, have added a few more ways we can help moozilla celebrate, and in doing so, feel a part of this glorious occasion.
Here is their list:
1. Shop at Target and don’t worry about hackers stealing your credit info. After all, it’s not as if you’re spending your own hard-earned money.
2. When escaping the bubble to go incognito among the masses, never dress to blend in. Always wear the most outrageous get-up that will make you stand out like a big red zit on prom night. And always warn media outlets in advance of what you’re doing so they’ll respect your privacy by staying away.
3. Go sleeveless, even when most of the country is freezing, because you can jack up your thermostat as high as you want. Or just stay in Hawaii a few extra weeks.
4. Tell other people to eat their vegetables.
5. Have your staff plant a garden, then make them tend it. Never do it yourself unless the cameras are rolling.
6. Wear $450 shoes with sparkly pink toe caps while appearing for a photo-op at a homeless shelter.
7. Travel to military installations where you’ll tie up traffic and shut down most facilities to make speeches about how you really care about military families.
8. Empathize with the military wife whose husband is deployed to a war zone by talking about tough you had it in your Chicago mansion with all those people to do things for you while your husband was in Springfield or Washington and only came home every weekend.
9. For the first time in your life, be proud of your country because they finally nominated a candidate based on his skin color instead his qualifications.
10. Tell someone else to give up their own piece of pie.
11. Sit between your husband and the Danish prime minister to stop them from flirting with each other.
12. Go on all those silly women’s talk shows to gab about all the things you dream of doing after you go back to being a private citizen in 2017—none of which seem any different from what you’re doing now.
13. Whine about what a huge sacrifice it is to be the most privileged woman in America.
14. Just keep on dancing…and partying…and shopping…and spending…and living it up on other people’s money!
But we needn’t limit ourselves to 50. How many other ways can we honor the greatest First Lady to ever grace humanity by pretending to do what she does?