We Ask The Experts

 It is the question that has perplexed every man, woman, child, scientist, and anyone who doesn’t have a real life, since the dawn of roads.

Centuries ago, Romans wondered : “Why did it cross in front of my chariot ?”

In the near future, we will probably ask : ” Why did it cross in my assigned hovercraft airspace ?”

But for now, we will deal with the wisdom of our more contemporary minds for the answer to the question :

Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road??

chicken 2

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick !chicken 11

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be clear, the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change! Real change! Change he could believe in !

chicken 1JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. Thischicken 9 experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure, right from Day One, that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me. And what difference does it make now, anyway ?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.chicken 3

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

chicken 10AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I chicken 4had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

chicken 6

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.chicken 5

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, That chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chequebook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS : I reckon I missed that one !


Well, there you have it. I hope this has helped answer the puzzle for you.

Tune in next time for the poser :

Which came 1st. The chicken, or the road-kill removal team?


With a BIG H/T to Joseph69

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14 Responses to We Ask The Experts

  1. Clyde says:

    Damn, now THAT was FUNNY. Good one, Terry.

  2. Hardnox says:

    A superb humpday laugh. Thanks.

  3. Mrs AL says:

    Thanx Terry and joseph69. This is just what is needed in these trying times. And Terry, your comment at the end is too funny.

  4. HEY~! What happens to the EGG~!~? 😀

    Good One, Terry,,,

  5. josephbc69 says:

    I suspect the Road Kill Removal Team, as it was mandated by the insurance company to be in place as the First Responder.

  6. CW says:

    That was great fun to read, Terry! Thanks!

  7. Karen says:

    LOL…that was great. Loved it. Thanks Terry

  8. Garnet92 says:

    Great stuff Terry, I always wondered about that goofy chicken. I think that he was trying to get away from Colonel Sander’s scouts.