There’s an annual skateboard race in New York City known as the ‘Broadway Bomb’. This year the city banned it, and the New York State Supreme Court ruled that it was within its rights to do so. But it happened anyway. And someone compiled this film. And put it to music. Don’t start it if you have a mouthful of coffee.
HOW TO OFFEND EVERYONE
I’d just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two days.’
I told him, ‘I wish I had your will power.’
I took my Biology exam last Friday.
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently “Blacks” and “Mexicans” were NOT the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald’s at lunchtime.
She said ‘sorry about the wait’.
I said, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll find a way to lose it eventually’.
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.
When I came out, he looked at me and said ‘Any Change?’
I said, ‘Nope, you’re still black’.
Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, ‘fat chance’, with a face like that!
A 10-year Old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road.
A man passing by asks ‘What’s wrong, lad?’
The boy says ‘Me ma died this morning.
‘ ‘Oh bejaysus,’ The man says. ‘Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?’
The boy replies, ‘No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.’
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business.
I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. I’m going to take that.’
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa .
He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, where am I?
The farmer looks back up and shouts back. You’re in a basket you dumb shit!
I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong.
The question was where do women have the curliest hair?
Fiji was the correct answer…hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘
“Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”
The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”
The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”
The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me,what should I do?”
The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?
The man said, “Yes” and the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”
I was out hunting the other day and came across this magnificent buck.
I didn’t have the heart to shoot him.
Have a great Friday.
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