Funny Friday – Oct. 25, 2013

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Arabs boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat.

Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said ‘I need to get up and get a Coke.’

‘Don’t get up,’ said the Marine. ‘I’m in the aisle seat, ‘I’ll get it for you.’

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marine’s shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the Coke, the other Arab said, ‘That looks good. I’d really like one too.’

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marine’s other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He leaned over and asked his Arab neighbors, ‘Why does it have to be this way?’

‘How long must this go on?’

‘This fighting between our nations?’

‘This hatred?’

‘This animosity?’

‘This spitting in shoes and peeing in Cokes?’

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A professor at the University of Arkansas was giving a lecture in a course on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously.

Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

Three students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says: “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost.  You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor says, “So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.”

“Ghost? Shit, from way back there I thought you said “goats”.

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Have a great Friday. 

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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11 Responses to Funny Friday – Oct. 25, 2013

  1. Kathy says:

    Good ones, ‘Nox. Looks like the Iranians have an army full of Carol Channing fans.

    I got this one from a guy..go figure.. 🙂
    WALK NAKED DAY

    Don’t forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a sin for a muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and if he does, he must commit suicide.

    So, next Saturday, at 1:00 pm eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

    All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

    Who’s in?

  2. Mrs AL says:

    Thanx for the laughter!

  3. upaces88 says:

    Oh! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!!

  4. What a day~! Thank GOD it’s STILL FRIDAY~!

    Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny (a blonde, of course). “She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.” said one doctor. “Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!”

    The second doctor said, “That’s nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!”

    Suddenly, they hear a blood-curdling scream from down the hall, “Oh my gosh!” said the first doctor, “I just realized I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith’s boil!”