Funny Friday – Sept. 27, 2013

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The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska . He was driving along the campground when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a Vote for Obama hat and a Save the Trees shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers wearing Go Sarah shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled the semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear.

Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he proudly proclaimed. “I have heard there was bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.”

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, “Who the hell was that guy?” “Dude, that was the Pope,” another replied. “He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.”

“Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom, but he don’t know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is our bait still alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one..?”

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 Crazy Joe Biden

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If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.

A friend has just spent $95, plus sales tax, on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, “Do not use in bright sunlight.”

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zero4

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Have a great Friday.

~ Hardnox

About Hardnox

Constitutional Conservative that Lefties love to hate.
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10 Responses to Funny Friday – Sept. 27, 2013

  1. Terry says:

    Good stuff, ‘Nox. Love the bear bait one !

    Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

    There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — pancakes, ice cream, candy– just him and his granddaughter.

    One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

    When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.

    Not really, PaPa, it was boring. We didn’t see a single asshole, queer, piece of shit, horse’s ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim camel humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”

    We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. I really didn’t have any fun.

    Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

  2. Mrs AL says:

    That Pope story was hysterical, Hardnox! Appreciate the giggles with all this whoa going on. It’s a relief!

  3. Kathy says:

    THERE WAS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR THIS PAST SATURDAY MORNING.

    I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said: “Hello sir, I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.”
    So I said “Come in and sit down.”
    I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked “What do you want to talk about?”
    He said, “Beats the hell out of me! Nobody ever let me in before.”

    • Terry says:

      SCAOTS !
      That’s no joke…that’s reality !

    • Hardnox says:

      LMAO

      🙂

      The last time the Witness’s visited I told them that I was protected under the Federal Witness Protection Program, naturally with a serious tone and stern look. They haven’t been back since and that was over ten years ago.